Wednesday, March 9, 2016

You Say Potato, I Say Your Taste in Music Sucks

I will freely admit that my taste in music is pretty lame by the average person's standards. My iPod (and yes, I still actively employ my iPod) is primarily made up of showtunes, podcasts, and one massive playlist where I dumped everything else from classic rock, to various '90s movie soundtracks (the Reality Bites soundtrack is really good, yo), to that song I heard once on the radio and thought was catchy. I also have an affinity for classical music that has been ingrained in me since my early years as the quintessential band geek. My knowledge of modern music and artists is pretty poor in that every time the nominees for the Grammy Awards are announced, I'm lucky if I recognize one-third of the names (my, my, that Beyonce has done well for herself since her Destiny's Child days!).

But despite my general modern musical ignorance, I can tolerate listening to pretty much anything, provided it's actually music. Which is where I'm struggling to happily agree to disagree with Remus, who pretty much exclusively listens to stuff like this:


This is a grand mal seizure with a backbeat.


This is where eardrums and retinas go to die.


It has a laser-firing puppy, so there's that, but it's still not music.

Even the folks at SNL agree that this stuff is not music. (Not that SNL has exactly been on the cutting edge of anything for awhile now, but they back up my argument, so I'm going with it.)

Whenever I was asked about my musical tastes in the past, I would usually answer that I could listen to pretty much anything other than hardcore country. But if I had to choose between country music or attending one of these senses-raping "shows" (because they're not "concerts," because they're not music), I would be sporting the shiniest cowboy boots and the biggest belt buckle you've ever seen faster than you can say, "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS NOISE THIS MUST BE WHAT HELL SOUNDS LIKE!!!"

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