When I was single, people wanted to overshare info about their love lives with me all the time, because as a single girl, I would “get it.” If they wanted to bitch about their significant other, I would get it, because as a single girl I must know what crap other people can be sometimes. If they wanted to glow about how awesomely amazing their partner was, I would get it, because as a single girl that kind of loving relationship must be what I was longing for. If they wanted to gripe about their dating woes, I would get it, because as a single girl I was right there with them.
And, my general lack of interest in being embroiled in other’s personal dramas notwithstanding, this was generally true. Being single meant I could relate to the good, the bad, and the ugly about other people’s relationships.
But once I found myself in a committed relationship, I lost what I’ve come to refer to as my “single girl cred.” Once people learned that I was no longer going home every night to an empty apartment to undoubtedly eat raw cookie dough by the pound and obsessively check my OKCupid inbox (you know, like all single people do…), it was apparently determined that I would no longer “get it,” as I am now no longer regaled with overly personal romantic tales of any nature.
Which, for the most part, is fine. It’s none of my business anyway, and again, I don’t feed off of drama (I feed off of raw cookie dough, because old habits die hard). But it still feels strange to overhear a coworker lamenting about her latest lame duck dating experience to someone, and commenting as I walk past, “Oh, you got lucky; you don’t get it.”
And my immediate reaction is to try to get my single girl cred back. I don’t get it? It took me 34 years to finally get lucky in love! You think I don’t get lackluster first dates, or the frustration over the seemingly lack of suitable partners in the world? You think I don’t get wanting someone who doesn’t want you back, or trying to politely shake someone who is way more invested in your short-lived romance than you are? You think I don’t get hanging onto to someone for way longer than you should for reasons you’ll never fully understand? You think I don’t get nights spent alone, or being the third wheel with your best friend who can’t socialize without her boyfriend in tow, or waiting for some guy who you know isn’t “the one” to call/text/email? You think I don’t get wanting to punch every happy person in the face because why should they have what you don’t?
I still get it, and I always will. I may not be a single girl anymore, but my cred is still strong. Now pass the raw cookie dough.