Nearly every ladies' magazine, chick lit novel, or romantic movie I've come across over the years preaches the same message to single women: If you like a guy, don't trouble him with any of your heavy issues too early, because men are big scaredy-cats who will bolt at the first inkling that their relationship with you will be anything other than boobs, beers, and blow jobs.
I guess this isn't necessarily bad advice if all you're looking for is a series of short-lived flings with men who are still emotionally children, but if you're an adult looking to cultivate a lasting relationship with another adult, why wouldn't you delve into the heavy stuff early on? That way you would know if you're both on the same page and ready to help take on the burden that someone you care for is carrying.
Unfortunately, I didn't really get a choice as to when Remus and I would drag each other into our respective life messes, as within the first six months of our relationship we had to deal with:
- A major death in my family.
- A work situation that had him largely unavailable most days and nights for the first month.
- Him contracting that death flu that was going around that winter.
- Me passing out the first weekend I stayed at his apartment.
- His sister having a baby prematurely and all the resulting health issues that came with that.
- Getting into a car accident that resulted in the total loss of my car.
- A major death in his family.
- His mother needing emergency back surgery.
- Me losing my job.
And while all these situations largely sucked and I would have gladly had them happen later on in the relationship (or, you know, not at all...), I'm not entirely upset that they occurred when they did. Because instead of either of us freaking out and pulling the plug due to "too much drama," we were able to solidify early on that we both wanted to and were capable of having each other's backs when times got rough. And given how life has a tendency to be randomly shitty when you least expect it, I'm glad to have finally found someone I'm able to face it all with. In between all the boobs, beers, and blow jobs, of course.